Lately, my blog posts have been few and far between. So I thought I’d do a little bit of a ‘life update’.
I was originally introduced to you as a “Farmer’s Wife”. That is no longer the case. Although I still live in a big, beautiful, somewhat drafty farm house, my husband got a job in landscaping. This has been a big change for us. He is no longer home for coffee and lunch, but he is home on Saturdays. In addition to not having my husband home during the week, I also do not have a car available to me anymore.
I love being a stay at home mom. I have a hard time being a stuck at home mom.
I am taking a long journey to learn how to be productive when nothing I do seems to make a difference. I clean constantly, but at the end of the day, my house never seems clean. I can spend all day in the kitchen, but the dishes are never done and the meals are never cooked. I can have the laundry machine going from morning until night, but the laundry hampers are always full. Which begs the question – how did it seem easier to get stuff done around the house when I spent more time away from the house?
Its so easy to get bogged down by the repetitive nature of cleaning and cooking and laundry-doing. I have spent the better part of my time as a ‘stuck at home mom’ being discouraged, annoyed, and anxious to get out of the house. Zoe regularly crawls into her car seat. She has the same ‘get up and go’ gene that I have.
I love that ‘get up and go’ gene. It’s the gene that makes me want to be a stay at home mom, and eventually a homeschooling mom. It’s the gene that makes me want to take my kids and teach them how to handle different situations – visiting and grocery shopping and crowded sidewalks. Its tied to that ‘home-body’ gene. The gene that makes me love to spend most of my days cooking and cleaning and doing laundry. Most, but not all.
People ask me if I’m bored at home. I’m not bored. There is a never-ending train of household chores. If anything, I’m overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed by how fast the days go by. Night comes, and I suddenly realize I didn’t actually play with Zoe at all, or that I never sat down with a cup of tea and a good book, or that I forgot to write a blog post.
So here’s what I’m doing: I’m taking baby steps. I’m making a conscious effort to work out while Zoe naps. I’m focusing on drinking enough water in a day, maybe including a cup of tea. I’m trying to find a time when I can sit and do personal devotions. I’m currently looking for some kind of ‘day planner’ so that I can sort out all the jobs that need to get done around the house.
And I’m slowly learning that sometimes it’s okay to let the laundry stay in the hamper for an extra day.